Why I chose to donate my eggs

Why would anyone donate their eggs to help a stranger have a child? Elaine Chong explains her reasons.
I first heard about egg donation when I was at university in the US. We studied the sociology, psychology and biology of sperm and egg donation, and I was really inspired by the gift-giving nature of it - I knew it was for me.
The professor told us that egg banks wanted young, healthy women who were well-educated, but that there was a real shortage of women of colour.
I thought about people like me - from a Chinese background - who might have fertility problems and want to have children really badly. I thought about my gay male friends who spoke at length about wanting to be good parents and how my gift could help them, too.
The professor talked about how each egg could be worth up to $3,000 (£2,280) which made the lecture hall go: "Ooooooh!"
I decided to give it a go and registered via a website decorated with pictures of cheerful, chubby babies.
Unfortunately, I failed the screening process almost immediately - anyone who lived in the UK for more than six months from 1980 to 1997 is ineligible because of the possible risk of transmitting the human form of BSE (vCJD). This also meant I couldn't donate blood, or be put on the organ donor list.
But the idea stayed with me, and when I came back to the UK for my postgraduate degree, I decided to try again here.
One big difference is that donors here receive a one-off compensation fee of £750 ($990) to cover costs - but I wasn't doing it for the money.
I registered through another website decorated with cute baby pictures and was invited to take part in a rigorous screening process.
They asked me lots of questions - the administrator, the nurse, the doctor - everyone wanted to know why I wanted to donate my eggs.
I boiled it down to: "I want to make families feel complete."
I found out that in the UK there is also a shortage of donors from ethnic minorities.
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Find out more


  • The HFEA says the shortage of ethnically-matched donors is an issue that has been raised in consultations and surveys they have carried out in the past
  • Although there are donors from all ethnicities in proportion to the UK population, the number of available eggs from white donors is far greater
  • Nina Barnsley, Director of the Donor Conception Network, says that finding a matching donor can be challenging because would-be parents have to apply to individual clinics to see if they have a match - perhaps there could be a better way of sharing information
  • Asian egg donor shortage in UK 'forcing couples abroad'
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As far as I know, there's nothing in Chinese culture that prohibits egg or gamete donation, but it still took me ages to tell my mother that I wanted to do it.
My mum has always insisted that if she were to die, she wanted to donate any organ that could be useful to people. Eggs though! That's a bit different, because people would be walking around with our genes. Would my parents think of them as their grandchildren?
When I eventually told her, her immediate reaction was, "Let's not tell your dad."
When I was approved as a donor, they explained that it wasn't like in the movies and that after the donation I really wouldn't get any news about possible offspring until they were adults - and then only if they asked the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority for information about their egg donor.
I thought that seemed reasonable.
I found myself thinking a lot about how I was presenting myself to the potential parents. On the forms I filled in my height, my weight, my eye colour and medical history, but that doesn't really capture me as a person.
How would parents know if their kid might turn out to be sporty, fond of Thai food, kind to animals or like wearing black?
The clinic did ask about my hobbies and whether I played a musical instrument, but it felt like I was writing a pretty dry CV, to be honest.
Over the next few weeks I had lots of medical tests. I really hate having blood drawn so I always treated myself to a samosa afterwards - as a consequence, samosas now taste like cheering myself up.

I had to inject myself with hormones twice a day, which was a bit like playing doctor. I kept the needles in our family fridge - nobody asked me what was in the strange-looking pack.
The syringe worried my mother though, so she had to leave the room while I did it.
Being on hormones was like having premenstrual syndrome, but 100 times worse - I was told that women "experience cramps" but I promise you, there was a lot more going on. I put on weight, I felt bloated. Jeans? Forget it - elasticated waists all the way.
I got tearful easily over anything - pop songs, animal videos. The visits took up a lot of time, the appointments themselves were short but there were a lot of them - luckily I was only working part-time, and mostly in the evenings. The overall process took over three months.
When I was close to donation - or "extraction", as it is sometimes known - I got a text from a nurse in the middle of the night.
A terrorist attack had happened that evening near the clinic, and the entire area was taped off as a crime scene. None of the staff could get to work and the more urgent patients had to be diverted to a Harley Street clinic. I only had a few days to go, so they needed to rearrange my appointment as soon as possibl
On the way to the clinic the next morning, I found myself thinking: "If I'm killed in a terrorist attack, can it please be after I donate, because I've got these precious eggs in my tummy that need to go to families who are relying on me."
The importance of what I was doing hadn't quite sunk in until that moment.
The Harley Street clinic was so plush that the waiting room had a mural. The magazines were proper fashion magazines and instead of having to crane my neck to look at the ultrasound, I could see it on a huge plasma screen on the wall.
The technician counted my egg sacs. I'd got pretty good at counting them myself over the weeks. They decided I was ready and told me about the donation procedure, which involved fasting the night before.
I had to come back early the next morning. I decided to dress up for the occasion because I didn't want to feel like a patient - plus, it was Harley Street!
I was put in a waiting room and through the curtains I could hear a steady stream of women who were also there to donate. I couldn't see them, but when I heard someone refer to me as "the Chinese lady" I assumed the others weren't.
I'd never been put under a general anaesthetic before, or even worn a hospital gown. The nurses were concerned for my modesty but I was taking selfies in the bathroom pretending it was a backless dress.
Going into the theatre I put my legs in the stirrups and tried to peer around the operating theatre - I wanted to remember everything, but they counted me out and the next thing I knew, I was in a chair in the recovery room. The surgery had taken 15 minutes.

I was quite drowsy, and slept on and off. A nurse came to ask if I wanted a biscuit - even in my half-conscious state I was a diva and asked her to bring me a selection.
I got a box of chocolates and a "Thank you for donating" card.
They told me they had taken 11 eggs in total - one short of a dozen. It would be cool if even one became a person.
I was told to write a goodwill letter to the parents and potential offspring. It would be the only thing they got from the donor until any children were old enough to decide whether or not they wanted to contact me.
I wrote a letter on my phone, as soon as I left the clinic. I suddenly got so emotional about all these hypothetical kids that I started to cry.
I told them that they were the result of much planning and love, and that my family, my partner, my friends all cared about them - even though they don't know them.
I also told them a bit more about me - about my passion for social justice and that I don't suffer fools gladly.
I hope that in about 18 years' time I'll find out how it went.

Would I do it again? Maybe. I do think I made the right decision and it wasn't as difficult as I had imagined.


Australians decisively support same-sex marriage

Australians have overwhelmingly voted in favour of legalising same-sex marriage in a historic poll.
The non-binding postal vote showed 61.6% of people favour allowing same-sex couples to wed, the Australian Bureau of Statistics said.
Jubilant supporters have been celebrating in public spaces, waving rainbow flags and singing and dancing.
A bill to change the law was introduced into the Senate late on Wednesday. It will now be debated for amendments.
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said his government would aim to pass legislation in parliament by Christmas.
"[Australians] have spoken in their millions and they have voted overwhelmingly yes for marriage equality," Mr Turnbull said after the result was announced.
"They voted yes for fairness, yes for commitment, yes for love."
The issue only went to a voluntary postal vote after a long and bitter debate about amending Australia's Marriage Act.
  • Penny Wong: Tears of joy from gay Australian senator
  • Celebs celebrate Australia gay marriage result
  • The result on Wednesday brings an end to what was at times a heated campaign. The vote itself had been criticised by same-sex marriage supporters, many of whom said it was unnecessary when parliament could debate the issue directly.

    How did the vote unfold?

    The survey was voluntary, unlike Australia's compulsory elections.
    More than 12.7 million people - about 79.5% of eligible voters - took part in the eight-week poll, which asked one question: "Should the marriage law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?"
    The Yes campaign argued that it was a debate about equality. The No campaign put the focus on the definition of family, raising concerns about how issues like gender will be taught in schools.

Egyptian singer Sherine banned for 'mocking' River Nile

Egypt's musicians' union has banned a leading singer from performing in the country for "mocking" the River Nile.
It came after video emerged showing Sherine Abdel Wahab being asked at a concert to sing Mashrebtesh Men Nilha (Have You Ever Drunk From The Nile).
She responded by saying "drinking from the Nile will get me schistosomiasis" - a disease caused by parasitic worms that is commonly known as bilharzia.
Abdel Wahab then advised the fan to "drink Evian water" instead.
On Tuesday, the Egyptian Musicians Syndicate announced that it had reviewed the video and decided to suspend the 37 year old over her apparent "unjustified mockery of our dear Egypt".
The union said it had opened an investigation and would not grant Abdel Wahab the necessary permits to perform until she had been questioned.
Abdel Wahab later issued a statement apologising for her "foolish joke" at the concert, which she said took place in the Gulf emirate of Sharjah more than a year ago.
"My beloved country Egypt and and sons of my country Egypt, I apologise to you with all my heart for any pain caused to any of you," she added.
Schistosomiasis is an acute and chronic disease caused by a parasitic worm that lives in fresh water in subtropical and tropical regions.
People become infected when larval forms of the parasite penetrate the skin during contact with infested water. In the body the larvae develop into adult worms that live in the blood vessels, where the females release eggs. Some become trapped in body tissues, causing immune reactions and progressive damage to organs.
The parasite is most commonly found throughout Africa, but also lives in parts of South America, the Caribbean, the Middle East and Asia.
In recent decades national control programmes have successfully reduced prevalence of schistosomiasis in many countries, including Egypt.

Zimbabwe's Mugabe 'under house arrest' after army takeover

Zimbabwe's military has placed President Robert Mugabe under house arrest in the capital Harare, South African President Jacob Zuma says.
Troops are patrolling the capital, Harare, after they seized state TV and said they were targeting "criminals".
The move may be a bid to replace Mr Mugabe with his sacked deputy, Emmerson Mnangagwa, BBC correspondents say.
Mr Mnangagwa's dismissal last week left Mr Mugabe's wife Grace as the president's likely successor.
Heavy gun and artillery fire could be heard in northern parts of Harare early on Wednesday.
Mr Mugabe, 93, has dominated the impoverished country's political scene since it gained independence from the UK in 1980.
The UK Foreign Office advised Britons "currently in Harare to remain safely at home or in their accommodation until the situation becomes clearer", while the US embassy in Harare advised US citizens in Zimbabwe to "shelter in place" until further notice.
China, Zimbabwe's biggest trading partner, says it is closely watching the situation and hopes that the relevant parties can properly handle their internal affairs.

What do we know of Mr Mugabe's situation?

The firing heard during the early morning came from Harare's northern suburbs, where Mr Mugabe and a number of government officials live, the BBC's Shingai Nyoka reports from Harare.
In a statement, Mr Zuma's office said: "President Zuma spoke to President Robert Mugabe earlier today who indicated that he was confined to his home but said that he was fine."
Special envoys from the Southern African Development Community will be sent to Zimbabwe, he added.
A Zimbabwean army officer, Maj Gen Sibusiso Moyo, went on TV after the takeover to say Mr Mugabe and his family were "safe and sound and their security is guaranteed".

How did the military justify its move?

"We are only targeting criminals around him who are committing crimes... that are causing social and economic suffering in the country," Maj Gen Moyo said, reading 
"As soon as we have accomplished our mission, we expect that the situation will return to normalcy."
Maj Gen Moyo also called on the security services to co-operate "for the good" of the country and warned that any provocation would "be met with an appropriate response".
It is not clear who is leading the military action.
Army chief Gen Constantino Chiwenga, who visited China last week, said on Monday the army was prepared to act to end purges within the ruling Zanu-PF party.
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An extraordinary gamble

By Andrew Harding, BBC Southern Africa correspondent
A quick show of military force, a few arrests... and then what?
These are, of course, unpredictable times for Zimbabwe and yet there is a chance that the army's extraordinary overnight gamble will pay off, and that President Robert Mugabe, humiliated and powerless, will nonetheless be allowed to retire with at least the pretence of dignity.
It is important to remember that Mr Mugabe is not being challenged by the Western governments he has warned against for decades, or by Zimbabwe's political opposition, or by a mass uprising against economic hardship.
This is, fundamentally, an internal power struggle within Zanu-PF and whoever emerges victorious can expect a newly purged party to fall, obediently, into line.
Mr Mugabe's mistake, at 93, was to assume he was still powerful enough to build a dynasty to back his wife, Grace, to succeed him.
Instead, his once loyal deputy, Emerson Mnangagwa, may be poised to take control. If so, many foreign governments are likely to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he can rescue Zimbabwe from years of misrule.
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Has anyone else been detained?

A government source told Reuters news agency that Finance Minister Ignatius Chombo was being held.
He is a leading member of a Zanu-PF faction led by Grace Mugabe, 52.

Is this a coup?

Alex Magaisa, former adviser to Zimbabwean opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai, told the BBC: "They have decided not to call it a coup because they know that a coup does not sell, it will be condemned.
"But as far as authority is concerned it seems very clear that President Mugabe is now just a president in name and authority is now residing in the military."
Zanu-PF had accused Gen Chiwenga of "treasonable conduct" after he issued his warning that the army might intervene.

What was the political situation before the army acted?


The rivalry between Mrs Mugabe and Mr Mnangagwa split Zanu-PF.
Gen Chiwenga is a close ally of Mr Mnangagwa and both are veterans of the 1970s war which ended white minority rule.
The leader of the war veterans, Chris Mutsvangwa, welcomed the military move, telling Reuters: "This is a correction of a state that was careening off the cliff.
"It's the end of a very painful and sad chapter in the history of a young nation, in which a dictator, as he became old, surrendered his court to a gang of thieves around his wife."

'I've sat in a changing room in my underwear for ages'

Dressing angst. We've all had it. Does this outfit make me look fat? Is it inappropriate for work? Is it something someone half may age would wear? Should I just give up and stay in bed forever?
It's then we need help and advice from people we trust.
"I've sat in a changing room in my underwear for ages waiting for my friends to get back to me," says Sophia Matveeva, founder of fashion advice app, Style Counsel.
"I wanted their advice on the outfit I was thinking of buying. And my friends on WhatsApp were always asking me what they should wear, but we'd often be in different time zones and the answers would come too late."
Fashion dilemmas like this gave her the idea for an app to help women crowdsource advice from stylists and sister fashionistas in a safe, troll-free environment.
"Young women have always cared about what others think about their look, but social media has amplified this", says Ms Matveeva.
"Your image can reach far more people than ever before - it's like being a celebrity, and this has made us a lot more worried."
Style Counsel users wanting advice on an outfit can post a photo and receive "yes" or "no" answers from other users, or more detailed advice from vetted fashion stylists and bloggers "within minutes", she says.
So far around 7,000 people have downloaded the app, and more than 90 stylists are on hand to dispense advice. Photos are being uploaded from North America and Australia, as well as the UK, she says.
Fashion advice is a growing business, with dozens of apps, such as AskAnna, Mallzee and StyleDotMe, springing up, primarily targeting young women.
Image-focused social media platforms such as Instagram and Pinterest have been a key place for fashion enthusiasts to share ideas and opinions for some years.
And all this data about people's like and dislikes is gold dust for retailers.
"The most expensive piece of research retailers pay for is to find out why something didn't sell. Our platform tells them why - that's valuable feedback," says Ms Matveeva.
This endless appetite for customer data undoubtedly prompted retail giant Amazon to launch its Echo Look camera. The $200 (£150) voice-controlled device - powered by Alexa - can take full-length photos and videos of your outfit and send them to the accompanying smartphone app.
A "style check" function then compares photos and gives its algorithmically-derived opinion of which outfit is better, based on fit, colour, style and current fashion trends. Amazon says its own panel of fashion experts has helped develop this function.
But will this rather impersonal form of advice really appeal to social, sharing-obsessed twentysomethings?
"Women, more than men, are social creatures - AI will never stop us talking to each other," says Ms Matveeva.
"We need human-first technology. Girls will always want the approval of the cool girl at school, and on Instagram there are millions of cool girls."
Most young people like to search for and buy clothes online via their mobiles these days - no queues, less stress.
But getting the right fit is difficult and leads to hundreds of billions of dollars worth of items being returned each year, at great cost to retailers.
"Every brand has its own sizing parameters - there are no international standards," explains Isabelle Ohnemus, chief executive of EyeFitU, a fashion website that finds clothes to fit your figure. "This is why returns are so high.
"We can set up your size profile in a few seconds with 80% accuracy just knowing your gender, height, weight and age," she says.
EyeFitU has about 60 retailers on its site - "mostly big international brands", says Ms Ohnemus - and using all the data it has collected, translates these differing national and brand sizings to suit your actual shape.
Tech company Metail is also trying to solve the size issue by enabling shoppers to create digital 3D versions of themselves that they can they dress up virtually on retailers' websites.
"You can create your own body model giving your main measurements - height, weight, bust size, inside leg, neck size, hips and waist," explains Metail chief executive Tom Adeyoola.
"We can reach 92-96% accuracy just on those measurements."
You can then go on to a Metail-friendly fashion website and see what your digital avatar looks like wearing any of the clothes you select. The images are altered by computer to fit your figure.
To get to this stage Metail has to have photographed the retailer's range of clothes as worn by a manikin standing on a revolving turntable. The special photo rig, based in Bangalore, can "shoot 200 garments a day", says Mr Adeyoola.
When you think that an online fashion retailer like Japan's ZozoTown can have 500,000 items in its range, that's a lot of photos to take.
Mr Adeyoola hopes that his firm's technology will help make buying clothes online "a much more interactive and engaging experience" - as it used to be in-store. It will also provide retailers will valuable insights into our personal preferences.
So far 7.5 million people have created "e-models" of themselves, he says.
Of course, the biggest drawback of online shopping is that you can't touch and feel the clothes before your buy - another reason why returns are such a big issue.
This is why Amazon has launched its Prime Wardrobe "try before you buy" service. Prime subscribers can order online but have seven days before deciding which clothes to keep and which to return in the prepaid box. All without paying a penny up front.
Global fashion retailer Asos, which has 15.4 million active customers worldwide, recently followed suit in the UK with its own "try before you buy" option.
"The challenge of not being able to try on items before buying them is an an e-commerce perennial," says Dan Winter, Asos director of corporate communications.
"So it made sense to explore a try before you buy service here in the UK. With this option, customers don't have to worry about waiting for refunds because they will only be paying for what they choose to keep."
But when it comes to making those choices, we get by with a little help from our friends.

Apple to scan iPhones for child sex abuse images

  Apple has announced details of a system to find child sexual abuse material (CSAM) on customers' devices. Before an image is stored on...